The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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