Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize