is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
