i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
