Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
