you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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