I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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