Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
