I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
