apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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