The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize