oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
