That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
