i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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