I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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