: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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