im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize