? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
