Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Who died my cat blue again?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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