Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
