JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
