yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
