can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Who died my cat blue again?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
