I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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