I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize