Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize