evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize