i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
