You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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