No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
