He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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