he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
