So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step