I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets