ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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