There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize