Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The uberlube is also flammable
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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