bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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