Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled