so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
farters have to be the big spoon...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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