you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize