She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
