her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
