apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
