Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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