Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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