Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
