I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
