Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
