I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
