never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
