The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
