Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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