somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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