i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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