dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
