I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
