So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
