...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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