dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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