She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
