3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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