I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just had sex on a roof
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
