i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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